So, this past weekend was just about the end of me.
It started on Wednesday that things just were not in sync. For all of my efforts of meeting with an executive within the Victory Nutrition organization, to some things happening with my kids at their school, nothing seemed to be going right.
During this stretch, my business was going through a bit of a lull and processes just seemed off. I was quite frustrated with…well everything! It is the first time in a very long time that I just felt like I wasn’t in control. The negative thoughts started to roll in – they saw an opening. My primal underman first asked: “What are you doing this for? Why fight and struggle to educated people? If they don’t get it, it’s their fault. You’ve paid your dues, understand and can go further without dead weight and a heavy burden…forget them!”
Speaking frankly – this depressed the shit out of me! Yes me….depressed. Think I’m lying? How many tweets did you see from me Thursday thru Sunday? Facebook posts? My Webcast had to be cancelled on Thursday. I was in the toilet as far as my motive and conviction to continue on this road that I have been on for the better part of 6 years. So I did what some with less insight to these bigger questions do….I crawled up into my bed and watched tv. Yep…..me and the bed and blu ray high definition!
There I stayed with the exception of picking my kids up from school and those chores that are required. Short of that, I wasn’t much use to anyone let alone myself.
Saturday, my mood was actually slightly better but not much. I spent the bulk of the day trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Yes, you read that right, I had subconsciously already decided to move on. My paradigm had completely switched just like that!
Then I began to think about how I got started in fitness. Ordering my grappling mats and dummies from Combat sports International for my home gym. Training endless hours and believing in myself when nobody else did. Reading up on foods and exercises that provided the best results. Requesting a personal trainers certification manual from the National Federation of Professional Trainers (NFPT) and International Fitness Association (IFA) – I ended up getting certified through both associations. Understanding that my purpose wasn’t so much about mixed martial arts, but more about helping others understand their potential. My jiu jitsu training suffered many years because my focus was on my personal training and nutrition certification and starting a fitness business. Then I had the notion to open my own gym…
By Saturday evening I understood how badly I allowed myself to get, but also how freakin strong I was mentally! I started out on a quest to help others with their fitness, nutrition and the conditioning of their minds to withstand anything that wasn’t in alignment with their dreams and goals. Now the question was: “What’s my next move?”
So enter Sunday, a day devoted to the LaRochester men, my son and I. What do you know, he wants to watch Transformers – wow big surprise! I get him off Power Rangers and now addicted to Transformers! – Talk about can’t catch a break! Well, in one of the movies, there is a point where the character “Sam” has to revive Optimus Prime with the matrix of leadership. It is his will and belief in the “ideal” that somehow all will be done because he won’t quit until Optimus is revived! That was the spark or thing to snap me all the way back. See, when I write posts to you, it’s not that I am superhuman…I have my days and moments as well. It is always how you recover and gain clarity on the things that will truly define you by pushing you further to accomplish and persevere or bury you where you stand.
I want you to know that if I can look within myself and understand that my “feelings” almost caused me to make a huge mistake, you could be doing the same in your life as well. Take your time and get clear on why you would continue to do – or not do something. Be sure that it is rational and not emotional…there is a huge difference. Keep your feelings on the surface and make an informed decision about your life’s work. These are the times to know what you are made of and what your contribution to society is. If you have a quality let it define you…whatever it is. I almost quit on my quality of devotion to helping others because of my feelings. Be thankful for a strong mind to keep you in the game even when you have one foot out. I am deeply thankful today.
Thank you for reading. Have a great week!
Over the last year I gained a very good friend Matthew Perry.
Matt Perry introduced me to an amazing little book
called “The Dip” by Seth Godin.
I read the book in an hour, then read it again last week,
then read it again this morning. It’s a very quick read,
but it is very powerful.
The premise behind Godin’s message is that the most
successful people quit. In fact they quit often.
That’s strange to hear when we live in a world that
constantly pushes us to never quit, to persevere in the
face of resistance and struggle.
But this book opened my eyes.
All of us experience the highs of life. Starting your gym,
finding a new love in your life, deciding your life purpose.
We are riding this amazing wave and after a while it starts
We lose some passion, we question the meaning of
certain things in our lives, we wonder if it’s all worth it,
and we begin to struggle.
This struggle is what Godin calls “The Dip”. Those who
power through the dip are the ones who will become the
best at whatever it is they’re pursuing. The dip is a long
period somewhere between starting something, and
being the best at that something.
No matter what your struggle is: getting your business
past break even, starting a new career, working on a
relationship, playing golf, implementing a new program at
work, a marketing strategy you were certain would work,
learning a new skill, etc. The idea is that if you cannot be
the absolute best at something, or you’ve lost your passion,
or you don’t see it turning into something amazing, QUIT!
Most times you can tell pretty early on whether something
is worth doing. And if it is worth doing, you have to be
prepared for the struggle. Because if the thing is worth
doing, and the end goal is amazing, there will always be
struggle along the way.
I’ve definitely been in the dip…a couple of times. In fact
I was in a bit of a dip last year in a couple areas of my life.
There are two ways to make it through the dip.
The first way is to Quit. The moment you lose your
passion or the end goal isn’t as inspiring, or you realize
that you can’t be the absolute best in the current situation
…you should quit.
Quitting isn’t the same thing as failing. If you quit a task
that is destined to fail; or worse, destined to be mediocre,
quit now. In this regard, quitting is actually a successful
approach because it frees up time you can spend on
things worth pursuing.
The second way out of the dip is to Lean Into the dip.
Push with everything you have, even when you don’t feel
like it or even if you’re not sure the outcome your pushing
will create. If you lean into your struggle, refuse to
succumb to it, you will find yourself on the other side of
the dip, higher and more successful than ever before.
You will be the best.
The harder anything is, the fewer people will go all the
way with it. That’s a good thing for you, if you’rethe
type who is willing to give your all. (And I know you are)
As an entrepreneur, I can tell you that pushing your way
through a difficult chapter in your life is extremely difficult.
The thought of quitting comes and goes throughout the
The moment you believe you’re just spinning your wheels
and you don’t really care as much about the end goal
anymore, quit! Try your best to recognize this and quit as
early in the process as possible. It doesn’t make much
sense to continue spending time and resources only to
quit in the middle of The Dip.
Side note: If you are in the middle of the dip right now,
and you’ve been lacking passion, or you don’t like the
place you have found yourself. Don’t be afraid to quit
now. It’s better than finding yourself equally mediocre
a few years down the road.
I’m simply saying that if you don’t have a passion for what it is
that you are doing, quit and re-evaluate your position.
If you have people around you with negative mindsets, you don’t need them…
GET RID OF THEM!!
If you were certain that new best friend would be amazing,
but they’ve proven otherwise, get rid of them.
In your personal life, If you and your spouse are in the dip,
and you’ve tried and tried to figure it out but can’t. Quit.
If you want to become a great golfer, but only have time
or desire to play once per month, only to get upset with
your mediocrity. Quit. At least until you have the time to
allow yourself to master the game. You’re wasting those
four hours and all that negative energy when you could
be spending it on things more worthwhile that you can
really get passionate about.
Just don’t allow yourself to get into the dip, only to sit back
and try to wait it out. If you’re not willing to push yourself
to the limit and lean with all your might into the struggles
you are sure to face, I strongly encourage you to quit now.
You have one F’ing life (excuse my French!). One! Do not be mediocre. Do
not be afraid to quit something that isn’t working. Do not
be afraid to start over.
However, considering you only have one F’ing life, do not
waste any opportunity to be your very best. If you
have a chance to accomplish your dreams and goals,
and you are truly passionate about it, even if times
are difficult now, lean into it and become the best.
If your relationship only needs a few tweaks and you know
what it will take to make it beautiful, then do it! Don’t sit
idly by hoping things will get better on their own. Do that
and you’ll find yourself 5 years later looking across the
breakfast table at your mate, wondering where all the time
went and why your life sucks.
Remember that winners quit all the time. They just quit
the right things at the right time.
A woodpecker can tap 20 times on a thousand trees and
get nowhere, but stay busy. Or it can tap 20,000 times
on one tree and get dinner.
And if you need a more fitness related analogy; When
lifting, you do a minute or so of reps for no other reason
than to tire out the muscle so that the last couple of reps
will cause that muscle to grow. Many people quit just as
their muscles reach that moment where they feel stressed
and tired. Yet if they push through those difficult last few
reps, they find themselves on the other side of the dip,
stronger than ever.
Most people will stop when they reach the dip, and they
fail. You do not want to do this.
A few people will reach the dip and quit (remember this
is okay if the outcome is no longer worth the struggle).
But the few people who lean into the dip, the right dip, will
come out on the other side as the best at what they do.
Are you a quitter? Maybe you should consider it 😉
Dedicated to Your Success…