Here is the daily brief…. I just came back from lunch where I enjoyed a nice nap sandwich dipped with a little saliva and covered with a coating of Dune thoughts rolling through my head. I feel a little bit drained and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I went down to my interview/ tour at UPS last night and that was pretty much a joke. I get through like the entire process, go in to interview with the lady that gave the tour and she asks why I want to work there. I’m telling her basically that its a second job for me with a little additional income…blah blah blah and then explain that I worked for UPS 12 years ago unloading trucks. Then she asks what my hours are for my day job. I tell her 8 to 430. The position at UPS is from 5 to 10pm. So then she’s like “You won’t want to come back if we offered you a position in January. I already know you won’t make it.” I’m thinking to myself….what? You don’t even know me! I do understand that for all of the applicants that come through there are those that you just know off the top that are not going to commit themselves to working that kind of intense labor that is required. Mind you I already told this broad that I worked here in the past and if not for the military I more than likely would have stayed there. She took my information and then told me that she would call me after looking over my resume and such. Now here it is a seasonal position and people come in to work. It is not a permanent position so given that situation you would think the outcome would have been a little different. So after this, I just went home and kind of wondered to myself what the hell is it going to take. I ended up watching television til about one this morning just because I was not very happy when I got home to a dirty house for one thing and secondly I just am looking for that one thing that turns this all around. At least I can say that I will continue to try to work some different things out until something breaks. On a good note, I was searching through the on demand movies last night and came across Dune. The original 3 hour movie that I have grown to appreciate as an adult. I started watching it until I eventually fell victim to sleep and turned it off. Even though I am a bit tired today, I have managed to get through the day with a fair amount of ease. I plan to go home and do much of the same this evening. Call my mom and see how she is doing. I haven’t planned any type of training activity for the day. I am going to put together a little routine for this weekend when I am home by myself. I just plan to train and watch a little television. The weird thing is that although this is a fight weekend, I am seriously considering just waiting until this time next week and watching the event. Maybe I’ll just find a bunch of movies on demand and watch them. I am just hoping that all goes well with my wife and family going to their little gathering in Daytona and my truck comes back the same way it leaves. I have doubts about that…can’t lie to myself because if it can happen, it will happen. My plan today is to try to find something on one of these job boards or I am hopeful that there is a message for me at home from somebody wanting me to come to work. Not that this job is hard or bad or anything, it is just the fact that I can’t provide for the people in my house (me, wife, daughter and the baby on the way) in addition to being the transportation for siblings that live around the corner and continue to cause issues that limit financial resources. I tried to be good about it in the beginning and nowadays my attitude is more geared to just saying, ” I have my family to take care of, I don’t take care of grown women with kids that don’t take into consideration what money should be spent on.” To take this a little deeper, I might want to go out and help a little bit more if the crap that I hear and see money spent on. Like, her sister will say something like I don’t know how I am going to cover my mortgage, but then either the same day or the next day this chick is walking into my house with a bag that she bought while out shopping. Here I am sitting around thinking about bills and how they get paid and I feel guilty when I decide to go get a bag of twizzlers to eat! Kind of makes me think of why I don’t really call and talk to my own sister! Being around her reminds me of my own sister and explains why I don’t even bother to call. I know that is bad and all but at least I will admit it. Speaking of which, I do need to call her and see how she is doing. I have to say that despite all that is going on and the things that will continue to go on, my goals of fighting and developing will not waver. I know that I have to face some unique challenges to achieve my goals. These situations may not be unique to someone else, but knowing what you want and going to get it is what this is all about. I just have to weather this storm of uncertainty and figure out a way that everything works itself out. Right now I almost have to resort to fighting and training when I can. That is why I am at work going through techniques and different strategies. I get home and run and drill myself. Then I have to immediately get back into the grind of daily life and the additional crap that gets shoveled in my direction. All I have to say is the more that gets shoveled the worse it is going to get for those doing it. All of the sweet endearing moments in the world will not stop the asshole in me once it emerges. I have pretty much tried to keep him under wraps but as many of you already know, there are some people that just have no clue and sometimes instead of simply telling them, they just need a wakeup call. Too bad she is not a dude, then I could simply start from guard bottom and work towards a triangle choke on her! Mean huh? Yeah, I know, but to be put to sleep is not a bad thing…… hell who would need sleeping pills after that? Anyway, I am rambling like the day is long so I am going to exit stage left. This is how I know that I am still tired and just going through the motions. Weird thing is, I almost like feeling like I am here and somewhere else at the same time. Almost like this is more in tune than being fully rested and with food in your stomach. Oh yeah, remember lunch?…. I didn’t eat a thing….. I’ve been consuming fat free candy for the last hour. Well, that may be it for today…… I’ll try to write again before I leave, if not Ate a ja…..